content warning: mentions of current events/war as well as my usual illness/grief themes
I wanted to go out on a better note but couldn't manage it today)
i want to go trick-or-treating
but what looks like a piece of cheap plastic
feels like an albatross tonight
i, who sit down each year with a handful of
friendly dead for a meal, who write letters
to long-dead lovers, who live and breathe
romantic witchery,
can't stop reading and re-reading the message
the sister of my friend of over ten years
sent across a border
to another member of our gaming group
"i think you guys got me"
about real bombs
and i've been living with the understanding
that i might not live until next samhain
and i've been riding wave after wave of fever
with not enough medicine myself because
poverty is terrible
and yesterday my son was in the hospital
seizing and seizing and seizing
and i've been staring down when i'll have
to move my life to the street
because my friend can only let me live here
so long without paying
but in the midst of all that
we still want the taste of chocolate
and rainbow-colored sweets
peanut butter and laughter
"wait, let me guess, you're supposed to
be..."
and most of all, that thin veil, because
we want to be less scared about
what comes after, believe there's something
or maybe, believe that we can be scared
and still be okay.
pick it up, help me carry it
let's go get some candy
i want to tell you about a friend
and her sister, and my
very sweet son
Such hard times you have. May, somehow, the good outweighs the bad.
Blessings on you (whatever that may mean, as I'm a UU and not too taken with "thoughts and prayers" – well, maybe thoughts do make some difference, especially if they are followed by actions). Peace to you.